Vision

Posted in Uncategorized on December 11, 2010 by lostsilentwind

It started right now

All of a sudden my whole life is crashing to the floor

Cracking like a shattered mask

Time is turning back and I ´╗┐find myself deeply submerged, years ago, inside that old feeling

What on earth is this tension, like the one that strikes your nerves the instant before your final examination

Life scenes throbbing through my veins, I’m staring at my childhood and it feels like the last thing

Strange behavior surrounds me, electricity in the air, something is not all right

But I feel no pain, no sadness, no happiness, no fear

I feel nothing at all

What’s next?

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Loneliness; poetic beauty, prison of the soul

Posted in Visions of life with tags , , , , , on February 16, 2008 by lostsilentwind

If the echo of my voice gets to you, most probably you are a lonely person, but perhaps you are not.

The question you should ask yourself is: what is loneliness?

And please, we must not mistake loneliness for lack of love; they may go hand in hand, but they are not the same.

*

Well, it is time to imagine this person that got off the bed in a day like any other. What’s he going to do? Go to school? No. He is going to spend the rest of the day at home; maybe he will go out for a walk, or will go to the mall or the cinema, but at least six hours of his day are going to pass inside that cement cubicle called house.

Now imagine the aforementioned person looking through the window. Outside home, people are playing and living together; he knows them, but only by sight. Most of them are his neighbors. His is an eager and lively mind. He loves art and beauty and has a great intelligence and an atractive personality, though not extroverted. Why, then, does he stay inside the cement walls, same as in the past days? Shouldn’t he establish contact with someone? Yes, he should. But he also has pride; longs for the love of the people, but does not need them.

Now, even if you don’t ask, I’ll tell you that this person is not -as you might misunderstand it- an antisocial. No, of course not. When he has the chance he acts with authority and intelligence. He chooses his friends very carefully, but does not despise anyone and treats everybody kindly. Also, he does not let anyone mistreat him; as I said before, he is a proud person. In the same way, I can assure you that he is a physically attractive person that is not shy, though he may be reserved and show himself as a quiet person in front of the people he does not really trust.

He has an art-consecrated mind; he venerates beauty, any kind of beauty. Various magnificent gifts have been lent to his hands, that he puts to the test every day. It is just that he has not had opportunities to go out into the world. Which ones have been his impediments is something that has not the slightest importance, for these are foreign to him and they escape his willpower, which is grand. This, nevertheless, does not change the fact that he has no friends; maybe a couple, but he sees them like every twelve months or more. Does not change the fact that he lives inside a spiritual jail from which one day he expects to free the great potential he has as a person; he hopes to be able to care about everybody else and to love them, but he also wants to receive love.

We then come back to the previous question: what is loneliness? what this person lives can really be called loneliness?

He does not suffer much, he has a dedication, even though it is done inside his home. Has a family that he loves and which also loves him. Objectively, he is not ALONE, but what he has is not enough. He knows his spirit is too big to be limited this way. And, though he knows that this day and the next one might be the same, he puts his fate in only one hope: that sooner or later he will leave loneliness behind.

This, in the end, means that loneliness is a problem of the soul. It is a certain kind of inconformity with what one has, it is lack of acceptance. But, is not that what makes persons human? who can be resigned to starve like a dog without feeling anything? who can lose a friend without feeling the strain of pain?

Even so, only you can find the answer; the certainty of truth can not be bought, it can only be found. Is loneliness desagreement? Is it lack of love? Is the incapability to love, or the incapability to give all the love that is kept inside? Or is it just the internal enjoyment of suffering for something that will never be get?

According to you… what is the answer?